Inappropriate

Have you ever considered how our actions, or perhaps more accurately, our reactions, are inappropriate?


Sometimes, despite the situation, despite the logical response to set of circumstances, stimuli, our reactions are illogical and completely the opposite of what we would expect. An example that may be familiar to those of you with children, is the response to their safe escape from danger. The child who runs into the road, avoiding injury, or wanders off and is recovered safely, none the worse for their adventure. The logical response is relief, gratitude, perhaps a prayer to a normally-ignored deity. What often ensues of course, is a back-breaking hug, followed in quick succession with what my late Grandma would call a 'Chlop'.

I was 'Chlopped' more than once.

Oddly, this is not only something that moves downwards through the generations.

The distress of a parent struggling, their dependency, the helplessness we both feel, the solitude of responsibility created by being 'the one who's around', all conspire to create this dichotomy.

I should just feel compassion and my anger distresses me, engenders non-profitable guilt which in turn, amplifies the anger.

At least I know she won't remember my anger. I just hope she can remember me and what she means to me.